what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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