wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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