I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
