ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize