saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you had me at cake vodka
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sext me about skeletons
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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