i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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