i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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