You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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should my penis look like a turkey
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
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No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is