Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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