he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?