And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.