I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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