KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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