I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
