i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
