cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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