hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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