i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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