No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
