I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
