i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
