i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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