I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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