I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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