she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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