So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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