well you can't waste a boner
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
