Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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