Don't you send me to vm
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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