a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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