ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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