from now on my penis is your penis
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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