you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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