Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
