You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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