YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
