honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Houston, we have a blender
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
