What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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