But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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