I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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