doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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