Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
