Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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