so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize