I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
