what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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