Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
