It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
