Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
