The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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