Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
