ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
