so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
