So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
