at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
