Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
