I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
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