I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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