Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
