I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
