you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize