He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
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Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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