I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
