dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
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dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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