Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize