Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
