I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
as a side note pls kill me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
